Selasa, 30 September 2008

Rolling Out Of Bed

A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandfather in the hospital.

"How are you, grandpa?" he asks.

"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, they have wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem at all, I get nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it.
I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so he rushes off to question the nurse in charge.

"What are you people doing!?" he asks.

"I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old man Viagra on a daily basis.
Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well.
The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."

Minggu, 28 September 2008

Ex Husband and Ex Wife

I.Dear Husband,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game.

You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything.
Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving
away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-Wife

II.Dear Ex-Wife,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you
and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cutoff all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price
tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to BALI. But when I got home you were gone.

Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Rich As Hell and Free!
Reply With Quote

Senin, 22 September 2008

Engineering Ingenuity

A software engineer, hardware engineer and departmental manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland.

They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes failed. The car careened out of control, bouncing off guard rails until it miraculously ground to a scraping halt along the mountainside.
The occupants of the car were unhurt, but they had a problem. They were stuck halfway down the mountain in a car with no brakes.

"I know" said the manager. " Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and through a process of Continuous Improvement, find a solution to the critical problems and we'll be on our way."

"No," said the hardware engineer. "I've got my Swiss army knife with me. I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it, and we'll be on our way."

"Wait," said the software engineer. "Before we do anything, shouldn't we push the car back to the top of the mountain and see if it happens again?"

Sabtu, 20 September 2008

Toy Review : Cat PlayHouse Cardboard

Your cat has been chased by your neighbor's dog? Don't let it happened again, it's time to vendetta!

Now have new products to fight back enemy dog : cardboard made assault vehicle. Let your cat choose which one is best to kick the dog's butt : plane, tank, or firefighter. Put your cat inside of it, and let him do the rest action! Each one of them cannot fire real bullet, however, but enough to make your neighbor's dog won't spraying at your backyard again.

This animal-stunning cardboard will cost you about $27, each. Quite pricy? Well, yo can take it as a part of your house security system, maybe next time your cat could kick some burglar's ass!

Kamis, 18 September 2008

Please Forgive Me...

Again, Difference Between Female And Male

female: The delicate balance of emotional, physical and
psychological longing one seeks to have fulfilled
in a relationship.
male: Food, sex and beer.

female: Any part under a car's hood.
male: The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

female: A woman who makes love to other women.
male: A woman who has sex with other women so men can
watch and get really turned on.

female: The invisible barrier that stops women from rising
to the upper levels in business.
male: What would really be great at work since that hot
babe took over the office one flight up.

female: Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
male: Playing ball without a cup.

female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for
a weekend with the guys.

female: The body part that every item of clothing
manufactured makes "look bigger."
male: The organ of mooning (and farting).

female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with
one's girlfriend.

female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
male: Anything with one ball, two folds, or three stooges.

female: An embarrassing byproduct of digestion.
male: An endless source of enterainment, self-expression
and male bonding.

female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
male: What men have to call "boinking" to get women to boink.

female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 1/2

female: Something you do frequently to whatever you're
cooking, to make sure it's good.
male: Something you must do to anything you think has
gone bad, prior to tossing it out.

Senin, 15 September 2008


A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him he can't have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little pissed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig.

He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. "Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon, for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so, for a week you aren't getting any milk."

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat as he's walking into the kitchen. The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says, "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"

Rabu, 10 September 2008

Game Review : Touch Grind

Many people has obsession to be a pro skateboarder, but only few of them could make it happen. Most of us suffered chronic beer-belly stomach, short legs, or just feared to get injured. Thanks to modern technology, now we can skateboarding with our fingers, not only with your legs.

Touch Grind is a new game for the iPhone and iPod Touch that uses the media player’s multitouch interface to let your fingers do a little skateboarding. We control the game by placing two fingertips onto the skateboard and flicking to do tricks. Sounds weird? Just imagine your two fingers as tiny little legs standing on the surface of the skateboard, and it starts to make a lot more sense. This game is also supported by 3D physics engine, makes it possible to create our own tricks, online level, and skatepark.

Minggu, 07 September 2008

Review : Air Hog Zero Gravity Micro R/C Car

Have you ever seen a car climbing wall? I guess all of you answered "no".
But you must answered "yes" on this special R/C car.

Introducing Air Hog Zero Gravity Micro R/C Car, this amazing sure R/C will amazed Isaac Newton. It's not only able to run on flat floor, it also able to run on wall. This hobbit's car contain mini vacuum system powered with a fan to create suction power, makes the car able to run on the wall. It even able to run underside of table, only if the surface is smooth enough.

This R/C is 4,75" long and available in various colors. Powered by rechargeable batteries, but it can only run for 10 minutes in single charge. How's the price? It will cost you about $47 in Amazon.

Sabtu, 06 September 2008

College Mascot Accident

College sport team mascot is our beloved holy creature in college life. They encourage team to performed best, and entertaining the crowd. Speaking about entertaining, here is some college accident in Youtube. Check this out!

The Spoon

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.
Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.
It seemed a little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket.
Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired,
'Why the spoon?''
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes.
After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil.
It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare.
'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.
Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies.
So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice.
'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.
I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Kamis, 04 September 2008

Game Trailer : Need For Speed : Undercover

Illegal street racing is not a child toy : yet it's a criminal activity, and you'll get chased by cops.
Playing illegal street racing on console makes you more childish : it's not a criminal activity, but it also makes you chased by cops.

Watch this NFS : Undercover trailer : you can feel the thrilling excitement of racing on public road, getting chased by police, and exotic racing car running wild on your screen. Just expect EA to release better version of NFS ProStreet, I know some of us dissapointed by it because EA erased most exciting factors of NFS brand in NFS ProStreet. This game will be available soon.

Rabu, 03 September 2008

Review - Skeleton Serving Set For Halloween

Valentine day refers to - romantic dinner with GF
Thanksgiving days refers to - family gathering dinner
Halloween refers to - asking for candy to your next door grandma

Wait, that's old stuff. We won't do that kind of child play in our (almost) adult age.
Halloween is another time to have great dinner, what we have to do is only add some cruel-looking dinner set to give Halloween experience in our party. You can have this skeleton serving set for next Halloween event for excitement. Made by food safe metal, this skeleton hand forks set will give you demonic meal on your party. Just have your GF dress like witch, and let the eerie night begin!